Living fearlessly is about turning “why” into “how. — Rhonda Britten

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Aug 9, 2009

How Do I Remember John Hughes?

Ok, so I’m a fan of several of John Hughes’ movies who passed away last week. Vacation, Ferris Bueller, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, Weird Science. Totally awesome. But as my entire generation probably can attest to, I am closely attached to The Breakfast Club. It’s certainly in my personal top ten movies of all time.

This morning I rode Portland’s Providence BridgePedal, which for me meant an 11 bridge, 38 mile trip and along the way joined with thousands of other riders and walkers (over 14,000 participants in all). I was passing tons of people along the way, climbed hills that I couldn’t two years ago, rode stronger and faster than I’ve ever done in a formal ride, and finished strong. What in the *bike* does this have to do with John Hughes.

I am an athlete.

I’ve not been able to say that before – not without cringing and expecting a lightening bolt to strike me. I certainly am a brain. Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you I can be a basketcase. I’ll gladly accept the title as princess and have the crown to prove it. I’ve even been a criminal – although thankfully never anything that I’ve been caught for. But an athlete – No.

John Hughes made us all OK in The Breakfast Club, regardless of who you were when you saw it. I felt like everyone was talking to me – all except Andrew Clark (Emilio Estevez) who represented all that I wasn’t. He was the anti-me. People like Andrew made me nervous – remember he was the one who taped the guy’s butt together in gym class so I had good reason to be afraid of people like him.

Today as I accepted the title as athlete, I reconciled a 24 yearlong challenge. I can relate to Andrew now, just like I can with Claire, John, Allison, and Brian. I get what it means to push, to be pushed, and even to hate the push at times.

As thousands of people waited for a train which was stopped in its tracks to move, I and a few others grabbed our bikes, ran up some stairs, across a secret pedestrian bridge (bringing my bridgepedal count to 12) ran down the stairs, and back to finish the ride. Fierce stuff.

I wasn’t the fastest, the strongest, the fiercest athlete. I wasn’t too far behind though, and I’ve certainly improved on my own strength, endurance, and overall fitness. And I’m now training for a marathon that happens in two months.

So, I want to remember John Hughes as the guy that made being who I am (and who you are) equal to everybody else and at the same time, giving me something to shoot for.

Does that answer the question?

Don’t You Forget About Me,

…an athlete

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Jul 6, 2009

What I Learned About Climbing

Joe at the Summit

Yesterday I climbed to the top of Mt. St. Helens. Here are some things I learned from the experience:

  1. I can climb a mountain.
  2. I do enjoy climbing mountains.
  3. I don’t necessarily enjoy reaching the summit of a mountain.
  4. I do enjoy bouldering and finding a path where there is no path.
  5. When asked if I want to climb another mountain while climbing a mountain, I’ll say no.

Ok, here’s the weird thing. It was an awesome experience. I got to hang out with great friends, achieve a fantastic goal, see a vista that few get to see – at least in the way I got to see it. Yet the top was windy, cold, sandblasting, and frankly not as beautiful as was the journey up and down the mountain.

It wasn’t the summit of the mountain that I’ll remember most. Rather, what I’ll remember is sliding down the snow on my butt (on purpose), hopping over rocks and boulders, watching the flora change from a revitalizing forest to plants that huddle to the ground to survive, and the instant comraderie created with everyone else on the mountain.

I did think of my friend Rosie who has climbed a lot of mountains. I heard her voice a number of times during my sojourn to not worry about reaching the summit, but enjoy the mountain itself. Although at time she told me this it was a metaphor for education and training, it was insightful to apply this literally during my hike.

My friends Kris and Jon asked if I want to climb Mt. Adams with them in a month. I said no. In the next month I’m riding 200 miles on my bike from Seattle to Portland, skydiving in Las Vegas, riding 150 miles in the Willamette Valley for MS, and riding 38 miles in Portland’s BridgePedal. I also want to try kayaking, rafting the Deschutes, visiting Vancouver BC and San Francisco, and perhaps resting a bit this summer too.

Climbing Mt. St. Helens has been on what you all call a “bucket list” for about 10 years. And now it’s crossed off. What I learned from the experience is rather simple, and I’ll never forget it. And everytime I see the mountain, I’ll know that I climbed it. I’ll smile, be grateful for my friends, acknowledge myself, and ask myself, “what’s next?”

Walking on Sunshine,

Joseph Lyons

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Jun 10, 2009

Down with the Weakness

So, today I battled my inner thoughts once again and stepped into a group training class at my gym. I knew that today was legs and lower body which is where I excel. You might say that’s my strength. However, I worked my legs out hard core two days ago so they were feeling wobbly. And my head was a mess.

I woke up early, I stumbled out of bed, I dragged myself to the gym, I reluctantly got on the treadmill, and I ran though every excuse not to go to the class. It doesn’t matter, I don’t have to go, I’ve already worked out enough, I need to rest my legs, etc. What fear was I avoiding. I’ll give my fearless living peeps a few moments to figure out the answer to that question…

The answer was that I didn’t want to show people that I was weak. I have avoided showing physical weakness for years. I hated gym class when I was growing up. I would rather have gone and written a paper than move a muscle. It wasn’t until theater and dance that I could show up and sweat around other people and to this day I can jump into the most strenuous dance class and keep up without fear.

The difference became apparent this morning when we were doing a gruesome exercise for our thighs. One student teased another, “Oops, your leg’s dropping! C’mon, get it up!” and “I think Neal’s getting weak!” What was I hearing? Where’s the support? Where’s the comaraderie? How dare you point out that poor man’s weakness.

I don’t do well with people seeing my physical weakness. And especially calling it out and making a point of it. So I’ll hide, I’ll joke, I’ll avoid – anything where I might be at risk of being called out for this weakness.

And what I saw today was that how I react to weakness isn’t the same for everybody. Some people are just fine with it, and others are motivated by it. And my lesson today was that by showing my weakness, I can begin to build up strength, stamina, and overall fitness.

I’ll tell you now that my strengths were in my inner thighs and my calves. My weaknesses are in my hamstrings and knees. Now I have something to build on. And if someone kids me about my weakness, I’ll choose to be grateful that I have the opportunity to show a weakness, be vulnerable, and receive it as love.

I’m down with my weaknesses.

Homework: Identify a weakness and see it as your biggest source of strength. It is so because the work you must do to overcome that deficiency is so great you must be excelling somewhere.

Very Truly Yours,

Joseph Lyons

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Jun 8, 2009

The Workout

For at least 4 months I have wanted to go to a class called Dynamic Group Training. Seems pretty simple but I have been afraid to go. My personal trainer had told me that I’m not quite ready for it, but that was a few months ago. Before I toned up. Before I rode 100 miles on my bike. And before today.

This morning I was riddled with all the same excuses, the same complaints, the same beating myself up, and the same expectations of the class. (See Rhonda Britten’s Fearless Living for more on these…) And this morning I reminded myself why I wanted to do this class. I want the hard core workout. I want the hard core results too.

So the word that changed my whole perspective this morning was choice. I asked myself what it was that I wanted to choose this morning. Lay in bed, resting, watching TV, and have a relaxed morning? Or take a risk and acheive a goal that I’ve wanted for months. It’s the same question I’ve asked myself over and over – but today I answered it differently. (Have you stopped asking yourself the big questions because you’re afraid of how you’ll answer?)

When I got to the gym I texted a friend for support. I got on a treadmill to warm up a bit and the excuses started coming. Then a booming voice from within said clearly, “Get off the treadmill, get into the classroom.” If you had heard the voice you would have done the same thing. It was fierce, strong, commanding, in charge. Funny – it was me all along…just a side of me that doesn’t show itself all the time.

Class was great. I felt nauseous, weakened, and spent after an hour. During which I was supported completely by Gary, Caleb, Marlin…great guys who took the time and effort to encourage me. Afterwards the trainer gave me a quick talk with some pointers for Wednesday. Later I wrote back to that friend I texted earlier to celebrate my completion.

So, 4 months of living in fear – ended. I did something I’ve never done before and that, my friends, is a tremendous gift. Not to mention that my abs are tigher, my arms are stronger, and I’m standing just a bit taller today.

Very Truly Yours,

Joseph Lyons

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Jun 6, 2009

Battle royale

Yesterday I decided that I would set a goal and reach it five days in the future. By the time I woke up this morning, the goal was completed. Congratulations, right? Not so fast.

I must admit the thoughts in my head aren’t as simple as that. Sure, over the past few years I’ve learned the art of self-congratulation. That can be a HUGE challenge for many, many people including myself. Yet I still have some old scripts in my head saying things like:

“You’ve done it before – you’re just going to have to do it all over again.”

“Well, you really didn’t achieve the goal of completing next week, so you actually failed.”

“So what? You’re just going to have to set a new goal so don’t celebrate yet.”

The tapes that run through my head are nasty, crude routines that don’t support me. And though they are old habits, they are also very presently running. The habits were created at some point in my head to keep me safe and protected from harm. Some of them are the voices of my mom, grandma, aunts, dad, sister, teachers – and some are words that I’ve told myself. None intending harm, only intending good.

There are some other routines that are echoing in the halls of my cranium as well:

“Way to go! You did it and rocked it out, dog!” (thanks Randy Jackson)

“You worked hard to achieve this goal and you can revel in the moment.”

And right now I also have Pink’s “So What?! I am a rock star! I’ve got my rock moves…” playing in my head too.

Here’s the kicker -

All of these routines play a battle royale in my head for dominance and it is exhausting. And because I am the only one in this battle, I will both win and lose. Losing an old habit is scary, no matter how great the reward on the other side of the win. I am the battlefield, and the victor will wind up with medal of honor and a scar.

Today my intention is to find a way to celebrate and continue working on my next goal simultaneously. Ultimately, I will win this battle royale – one way or the other.

In gratitude on this D Day,

Joseph Lyons

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May 22, 2009

Changing Direction

I move, as most of us do, in several directions at once. Often, those directions are all generally headed in the same direction, yet they take different paths. Yesterday it became clear to me that one of my paths was in a direction away from the direction I intended to head. So I stopped, said no, turned around, and walked the other way.

It was very easy to do. My choice was completely clear, focused, on target, and in line with my overall life goals and intentions. In the process I’m sure that I upset some people, ruffled some feathers, burnt the toast, and wound up looking bad. The choice to look good over following my soul – well, what would you do?

I can’t say that I’m totally at peace with my decision yet. In fact it will probably take me a few months to reset my system. Think of it as uninstalling a computer program but not fully getting it out of the registry, leaving a ghost in the system. In time I’ll find the right tool to do the full clean up – but for today, I took care of the big biggie.

So today I move on and will visit the top of the Sandia Mountains, Santa Fe, maybe Bandelier National Monument, and Los Alamos. I will think of my directions and paths while driving and acknowledge myself for choosing my direction, aligning my paths, and moving forward.

Of course I’m a life coach so I’m going to encourage you to think of some of the directions you’re headed in and determine which ones are really working and which are keeping you back. You don’t need to change it today – and maybe you never will; just be sure that you choose the path under your feet.

Very Truly Yours from The Land of Enchantment,

Joseph Lyons

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May 1, 2009

Credit Where Credit Is Due

I’ve been working on a project for the last couple of months and yesterday reached a huge milepost. This project for a mid-size business had been worked on by three other people over seven years. None had been able to reach the milepost I crossed yesterday.
I am convinced that this achievement was primarily due to my coaching skills in addition to technical, leadership, and managerial skills. I don’t believe that the project leads before me had the complete set of skills to move this project to the point I have been able to. What coaching skills did I actually use?
Trust – I worked to build trust that the project would work and that I would be able to fully perform the duties needed to carry through with the entire project.
Risk – In this economic time, the risk involved with this project is HUGE. And despite that, I was able to help the team understand that there is never a right time for a project of this magnitude. There is only the present moment and the willingness to say yes.
Process and Systems – I broke the system down into managable tasks and steps. Over time, my little steps added up to the giant step taken yesterday.
Intention – I kept the focus of several key players on the goal – long term profitability and efficiency. That is the real value, the core need, the final destination.
Communication – I talked positively about the solution. I admitted there were challenges, and provided alternatives to mitigate the problems. I expressed my belief and faith that this would be successful.
If I had missed any of these steps, this company might not have stepped forward and taken a risk. Ultimately, being an entrepreneur or business owner is all about taking risks. Yesterday, they took a huge risk and I couldn’t be prouder of them.
Truly Yours,
Joseph Lyons
P.S. What risks did you avoid today? Was it a risk that could earn you millions in the long run?

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Jan 21, 2009

A Magical Day

Yesterday I had many magical moments, watching as my new hero takes on a new responsibility. How wonderful to have a modern day hero. I think I had become cynical (yes, me!) assuming that all the heroes had gone before my lifetime. Don’t get me wrong, we always have the “modern day” heroes, those moms and co-workers and pastors and everyday citizens doing good work. But not until now has my generation experienced what my aunts had with Kennedy and MLK jr. 

Watching the formal inauguration process with 15 of my coworkers and one of my firm’s clients, I was joined in a communal celebration. Some people were moved by Aretha, some by President Obama’s speech, and others were moved more by the sheer numbers of people in attendance. I personally didn’t have a tear pass my cheek until the benediction by Dr. Joseph Lowery.

I was joined online as well. With the Facebook plugin on the CNN TV feed, I conversed with friends across the country simultaneously. I watched my 2nd grade friend Marlynn comment about her experience, my sister wrote how she watched the speeches with my nephew’s kindergarten class, and I shared “Bush has left the building” with my Facebook friends.

My friend Rhonda’s first Twitter account gave her location in the group – 6th row in front of the capital, blue rain coat. Her next posts shared how she had 10 new friends in the crowd, gave out extra granola bars to people she didn’t know, and how it was to be there in that magical moment.

In the evening I watched another magical moment, as Beyonce beautifully sang “At Last” to the First Couple on their first dance.  From across the room filled with well wishers and celebrants, a megastar sang a song of passion and rejoice to the new President and his wife. That scene was something directly out of the movies – the kind of movie we discount as impossible.

This morning is just like any other. The news is summarizing the events of yesterday into 30 second segments totally missing the real essence of the day before. The world had gathered in a single day of peace and joy and rejoice. The majority of the nation celebrated the end of awful politics and the beginning of a new era for itself. My coworkers and friends joined together in a day of optimism as technology brought us together.

What do I do today? How do I continue for the next 1459 days? What happens when my hero fails me (Even Superman failed Lois Lane at least once)? 

It’s a daily exercise to recommit to intention, to hold the responsibility of making my choices, to be accountable to my own needs, and to be a giving member of society. And as Dr. Lowery asked the lord to help us make, my choices today will be on the side of love. That is how I will live for today.

With Love, 

Joseph Lyons

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Dec 20, 2008

Snowed In

The view from my window is gorgeous. Snow has been consistently falling for hours and I am loving it. Well, most of it. Part of me feels trapped and stuck. It’s hugely unwise for me to drive, and my good winter coat is at my office, only a mile way, and yet of little use to me here.

So what to do? I’m currently cleaning up my hard drives, looking at old photos, deciding what to keep and discard. This is passive work and isn’t my first choice for what I’d rather be doing. I’ve got a great book to read (Monkey Wrench Gang), a DVD to watch (the first season of Extras), and friends to call (Ernest, Donna, Carol, Sally… haven’t talked to you in a long time!)

I’m challenging myself to just enjoy the present moment. To trust that I’m doing enough right at this moment. To know that right now is as complete as it need to be. To choose this moment in its present state.

I’ve had a bunch of changes in the past few weeks. My position at the company I work for is shifting and I have the opportunity to create it in a way that brings out my best components. My health has changed as I’ve rejoined Weight Watchers and have been walking to work this week for exercise. And I’ve learned with the support of a doctor that I may have more going on with my thyroid that I originally considered. 

With all of these changes comes a desire to find inner joy. I know from years of work that this will come through the expression of beautiful, my personal essential nature. I’ve blogged about it before. I’ll blog about it again. It’s my process that I know works for me. How deeply I’m willing to experience it is another thing all together. My homework is to assign myself homework. 

The key here is to remember that my life isn’t done, and neither is yours. It’s beginning anew at this very moment. As the snow comes down and collects on the earth, the trees, and the rooftops, I choose to be inside and spend my time developing myself. I’m so excited to find out what I find out today! What a gift :)

Truly Yours,

Joseph Lyons

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Dec 3, 2008

Fitness and Academic Approach part deux

So, I’m in the midst of taking an academic approach to eating and moving, and I’m taking an academic approach to the effort. And I decided I wanted to get a good idea of why the heck I’m doing this. What is my intention? Well, to be transparent my intention is to be sexy. Or, in my phrasing that I learned from Fearless Living, I am willing to be sexy.

And to be sexy, I want to be fit. And what is that? Fit? I got to looking around for good information on fitness and was led to a site that gave the 10 different key identifiers of fitness. Those keys are:

  1. Cardio Vascular endurance
  2. Stamina
  3. Strength
  4. Flexibility
  5. Power
  6. Speed
  7. Coordination
  8. Agility
  9. Balance
  10. Accuracy
Ok. How am I doing in each of these 10 areas? I’m pretty strong, and I’m pretty flexible. I can be agile and have great balance. The rest, well, will take some work. The article, http://library.crossfit.com/free/pdf/CFJ-trial.pdf by the way, has a great differnential between practice and training. Some of those things one can train for with concerted exercise, metrics, and scale. The other, practice, is more an art form. For instance, I can train for flexibility, but practice for greater sense of balance.
Practice can be done through dance, yoga, pilates, NIA (www.nianow.com). Training is weight lifting, going the extra mile, literally, on the treadmill or the road. And by placing my focus on the difference quickly adjusts the emphasis of my workouts.
So, that’s my academic fitness lesson for the day. It’s great that my mind is expanding as my belt is contracting. Let’s keep that trend going!
Truly Yours,
Joseph Lyons
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