Jun 6, 2009 | 7:15 am
Battle royale
Yesterday I decided that I would set a goal and reach it five days in the future. By the time I woke up this morning, the goal was completed. Congratulations, right? Not so fast.
I must admit the thoughts in my head aren’t as simple as that. Sure, over the past few years I’ve learned the art of self-congratulation. That can be a HUGE challenge for many, many people including myself. Yet I still have some old scripts in my head saying things like:
“You’ve done it before - you’re just going to have to do it all over again.”
“Well, you really didn’t achieve the goal of completing next week, so you actually failed.”
“So what? You’re just going to have to set a new goal so don’t celebrate yet.”
The tapes that run through my head are nasty, crude routines that don’t support me. And though they are old habits, they are also very presently running. The habits were created at some point in my head to keep me safe and protected from harm. Some of them are the voices of my mom, grandma, aunts, dad, sister, teachers - and some are words that I’ve told myself. None intending harm, only intending good.
There are some other routines that are echoing in the halls of my cranium as well:
“Way to go! You did it and rocked it out, dog!” (thanks Randy Jackson)
“You worked hard to achieve this goal and you can revel in the moment.”
And right now I also have Pink’s “So What?! I am a rock star! I’ve got my rock moves…” playing in my head too.
Here’s the kicker -
All of these routines play a battle royale in my head for dominance and it is exhausting. And because I am the only one in this battle, I will both win and lose. Losing an old habit is scary, no matter how great the reward on the other side of the win. I am the battlefield, and the victor will wind up with medal of honor and a scar.
Today my intention is to find a way to celebrate and continue working on my next goal simultaneously. Ultimately, I will win this battle royale - one way or the other.
In gratitude on this D Day,
Joseph Lyons