Categories: accountability, career, fear, intuition, willingness

So, there is a question that I love. “How?”

I didn’t always love this question. When caught up in believing that “why?” was the salvation to my soul, I didn’t have the ability to ask, “How?” It was as if the one question precluded my brain to the opportunities and responsibilities in “how?”

Regarding intimate relationships, I used to ask “Why?” Why am I alone? Why am I unwanted? Why do I believe I’m not worthy of a relationship? And so on. Just try mastering your mind when those thoughts are all you have. Maybe this is you - maybe not with intimate relationships, but with some area of your life (career, education, family, finances, spirit…)

When I ask, “how?”, I get in the drivers seat, put the key in, start the engine, and go. When I’m in motion, I’m not attached to the “why?”. All I need to know and trust is that I have a direction and I’m on my way. All of a sudden the instinct arises and things start getting done.

Much of this comes from the practice of determining the “right problem” which is being able to ask “why?” By the “right problem” I’m talking about working on the cause and source of an issue that I want to change. If I want to change my intimate relationship, the “right problem” is that I don’t know someone that I want to be intimate with. That’s the problem, not that I’m unworthy, flawed, in fear, ugly, not ready, or not the right time. All of those thoughts limit me and are the “wrong problem” to solve.

To ask “how?” is to live in the freedom of responsibility and accountability. “How?” sets the world in motion, picks up a foot and places it directly in front of me. That begets a series of motions that makes me move forward.

Homework:

Think about the thing that you want to change most in your life and for a day, simply ask “how?” Allow that to be your meditation, your mantra for the day. Don’t judge what arises, just ask.

Truly yours,

Joseph Lyons

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